There are some events in life that give you pause. Some more than others. But certainly some seem to strike a chord too close to home and affect us on a personal level.
This is where we are/were in the last week.
News of a parent with a significant health issue makes you stop in your tracks...and think. What if. What will happen. What now....
These are things that, in youth, we don't ponder much - and as we grow older tend to face us wheather we want to deal with them or not. It's unavoidable really - a matter of time - it's just a question of when.
Thankfully for us the outcome was very much a good one - much better than expected. But it makes me think about the next event. One I am not prepared to deal with. Much like this one. We always create that false impression that we always have more time with each other. Be it family or friends...there will always be more time.
And that can make one take the present moment for granted.
It does make you stop and pause. Where am I in my life? Am I right with God? Where are my priorities?
When you start to think of your parents and their health concerns it gets more personal. This is not a place I thought I would be....I thought I'd have more time.
It's a silly thought really. Why do we not take each day and live it as if it were our last insead of pondering on those trivial things that don't really matter in the grand scheme? Why not reallly grasp life with both hands and embrace it and fully live each day. I know - it seems so trite to say...but perspecitve on life and death can give that paradigm shift.
There was a code alarm that went off during our wait at the hospital - my ears pricked up like they used to when I worked in the ER, my adrenaline started to peak in anticipation - what would it be? A code blue? Was it our family member? No it was a trauma code red - someone else was about to have a life changing day...in a heartbeat...it all does change.
I feel blessed that our family member had good news at the end of the day. I am VERY blessed to have time off to come and be here and take advantage of reconnecting with others in the area that we have not seen for a while. It is something we don't always get to do when we go back to our hometown because of other family obligations, but important nonetheless.
I feel that my husband and I are exceptionally blessed and rare to still be so very close to a select group of friends from high school. We have been through amazing times that we still recount as "how did we live through that?", births, deaths, moves in state and out of state, and countless other events that have been cornerstones in our lives. And we have shared it together.
I doubt too many people these days can say that about their high school friends.
It's good to come home.
It's a rare blessing to have a support network of close friends and family to come home and share these events...I know they have uplifted up in some very trying times along the way.
My husband's maternal family is very close.
They are a farm family. They have many siblings in the area and are accustomed to doing EVERYTHING together. That caught me off guard when I was new to the family. But today watching their interaction - it was a cozy comfort that was very sweet and familiar - it filled that nagging void as we waited to know the outcome from the doctor's proceedure.
They talked about their mother's brown sugar rolls, how they were disciplined in their old school house, growing up "back then", using lard for their pie crusts (and how could I possibly like to use Crisco for mine?!), rendering their own lard at home, and countless other stories that wove a tale of family strength and bond...all the while enjoying the moment and comfort of eachother while avoiding that uneasy feeling of "what if, what about what's going on..." - it was a good thing to enjoy the company of others.
Family is a good thing.
It has turned out to be a very good trip. On many levels. Most trips are during the holidays and we have so many places to go - people to see - and it often feels rushed and exhausting. I have to say that even though we did get to connect with a number of people (*mainly during our wait at the hospital we used to work at) and it was a visit initially filled with a nervous anticipation...it has been a very, very good trip back. As a dear friend that I work with has reminded me of lately - perspective goggles are always good to look through sometimes.
And I should more often than not. She looks though them because she has to as life forced them on her after her daughter died suddenly...but me - I could chose to stop and take a minute to see if things really might look different with them on - before I am forced to see life in a different way.
That time will come soon enought. And I am not ready for that day. Yet.
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